Monday, May 11, 2009


Notice - this post is going to be a little more risque and foul mouthed than usual, so if this is going to offend, please stop now. Don't flame me in the comments when I have given you ample warning!

My friend Katiri had a teaser of a post wondering about the appropriateness of using the word pussy. It is really a word I think is only appropriate in the bedroom and not a word to be used in a derogatory manner toward men OR women. I mean, really, why is it that the words we use in slang for a woman's vagajay are also used to be mean? "Man he was such a pussy for not blah blah blah". Or my favorite "That woman is such a cunt".

I went through my ultra feminist phase where I was insulted about hearing those words at all. I refused to allow them uttered in my presence. I got all offended and returned the favor by offending the offender back. Tit for tat and all that. I don't think I was a particularly attractive person at that time in my life, angry, bitter, dealing with my baggage.

I am over that, but I really think the best place for those words is in the proverbial bedroom, not the locker room/ball game/bar etc. Pussy/cunt are words to be used in worshipful tones only, please.

Then there is Balls. Why is courage referred to as having balls? "Wow. That took balls". There is usually awe and reverence there that you NEVER hear with the slangy use of pussy. Why balls? Those two, fragile little things dangling between a prick and an asshole, why are they another word for bravery, demanding of respect? Hanging in the breeze, vulnerable to kicking both metaphorically and not, why do those things hanging in their soft sack, the slang term for courage?

Because I am here to say that being born with balls does not make you brave. It takes a lot more courage to grow up female in this male-centric world we live in. A lot more guts to have breasts and walk down a dark city street at night alone. A lot more daring to have sex with someone when you have those ovum down there, ovulating away every month just dying to get fertilized. A lot more bravura to deal with the fertilized egg as it implants in a female uterus and starts to grow into what may one day be an independent person in this world. A huge ton of pluck, steadfastness, and power to birth a baby into this world after nurturing it for 10 months of it invading your body, your life. THAT is courage. THAT is valour. THAT is grit and determination.

So can we make a pact to not call acts of daring and dash "Ballsy?" Can we call it having ovum instead? Damn, that guy seriously made an ova move there. That took ovaries!

Do you think it will catch on?

* Bawls is what my 2.68 year old son calls his testicles. His bawls. He has a peenis and bawls and likes to touch them and tell you all about them and ask how yours are doing. He is very upset that I don't have them. Personally, I am pretty happy to be peenis and bawls free and have a mighty fine set of ovaries.


MindfulMama said...

That entire blog post took Ovum.

See? It's catching on already.

katiri said...

okay, I will try not to call my gentlemanfriend a pussy anymore. But, see, he meets the critera of what you'd traditionally call a guy a pussy for being . .. help me out with that. wimp doesn't do it for me. cowardishly sweet, perhaps!

babyboy2 has my penis (foreskin), my other penis (aka my tomato), and when i told him about his testicles (what's this--those are your testicles--) he gave the quote of his life thus far, "dat's my penis' brains!"

I do agree that pussy is a decent bedroom term. cunt, i dunno . . .

Thanks for expounding on the topic, I haven't been much of a finisher with my writing lately. oh, but the drafts could blow your mind open!

Cranky Mama said...

Give me more of your drafts, then, K. I need my brain blown open.

jarvenpa said...

Ah yes. Your son reminds me of my eldest, who concernedly would ask about whether I had a penis. "No, I'm a woman, I have a vagina".
And then at around 3 he asked if I ever touched it, and if it felt good.
What can I say? I said "yeah!"

He said "oh, I'm so glad".

(he is now 31 and would probably hate being reminded of his early sexual concerns).

Misty said...

You forgot about dick. Dick is not such a nice thing to call someone. If someone ever uses the term "cunt" in a "loving" manner to me - they'll get kicked in the teeth. Of course, if the use the term in a rude manner they'll probably get kicked in the teeth. Sorry, but I will most likely continue to use the terms pussy and dick in their worst forms. In my defense though, I have been using the phrase, "That took a serious set of ovaries," for more than 20 years!